so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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