I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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