We won't sleep together?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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