i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I forget how to act sober
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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