i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
