Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
