I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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