One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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