Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize