problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
