Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize