Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
