hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
