This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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