I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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