I puked a lego.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
