She's JV to your varsity
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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