mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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