Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
