I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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