and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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