Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
