at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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