are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize