Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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