If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
