Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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