Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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