I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
