Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
