I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
