we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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