I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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