Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
