i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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