I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
