Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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