The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
