I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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