Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
