I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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