Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize