So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
