And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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