alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
