Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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