Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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