Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
