The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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