This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize