It's like God shit irony all over that family
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
