Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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