Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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