what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
