Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
