We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
