Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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